I moved to the Valley and my commute to work is pretty crazy now considering the 405 freeway is one of the most congested freeways in the world. To make going to work easy and save much gas, I've decided to come to work 1.5 hours early every morning. That means waking up 2 hours earlier than usual! That means... 5:20am....
I was rereading my private journal and found an entry I wrote while I was still in school. It was an epic battle between mind and body to wake up to go to a class I considered useless to attend. Now I'm glad I went and glad I wrote this in my journal.
I normally don't share private journal entries... in fact this is the 1st time I'm doing so! But... Here it is!
11/17/09 - 1:45pm - Tuesday
~Discipline in Waking Up for the Glory of God~
. .Yesterday morning (Monday) was such a struggle to wake up. I was tired - mentally + physically. Everything in me wanted to go back to sleep, to rest. Talking and self-motivating myself, I got up and even got dressed. But, thinking about my 8am Military Science 21 class, I thought...
. .Useless, no attendance, pointless to go.
. .Then I thought of excuses - I feel sick! And the crazy part is that I convinced myself that I really was, though I was not! I made my decision to sleep in, told Jon, and went back on my bed.
But God did not let me sleep - no, instead He made me think - really Cho? You're just going to give up? That was your fight?!
. .And as I thought, I came to a realization that in the future - especially w/ministry - I will face days just like these, sometimes even worse, but I can't just not show up. I can't just give in and sleep. I need to discipline myself, RIGHT NOW. I need to practice and fight now so that when days harder than yesterday come, I will be prepared to get up and glorify God whenever I need to be - wherever I committed to be.
. .Honestly, there are days I will feel like not getting out of bed. Eyelids will be heavy, sometimes heart heavier, but may the glory of my God always be heaviest that I may get up, discipline myself, and fully rely on God for strength.
. .Discipline now Cho! So you never miss a sermon, a work day, a promise. Discipline yourself to godliness Cho. Discipline - for the glory of God!