So I didn't many notes at church for whatever reason, but I was convicted of a couple things today. So, to make sure I do not forget these convictions, and to make sure I apply these things, I write this entry.
You spend time with what you love. I love my webcam. I love facebook. I wish I loved God more. Instead of coming back from class everyday and instantly checking facebook, or instantly going to videochatting with friends when I'm bored, why can't I just dive into the Bible?! That is my conviction. I love God. I cannot love that whom I do not know. I know God through the Bible. It is His words. Man, that conviction hit hard. I freaking love God's word, but by what I spend my time with, exceedingly I love facebook and my webcam more.
I am super prideful. Everyone thinks I'm super humble, but honestly I am the least of the humble. I am not leaving any room to be gentle in this issue because this one has to hit me hard, and people need to know so they can pray for me and kill my pride. Why else do I constantly check facebook for updates, or constantly leave webcam messages? This pride issue was no part of the Bible study today, but as I was reflecting upon why I spent so much more time on myself and checking comments and what not, it hit me and reminded me that I find more satisfaction in myself than in God. Heck, last night I rewatched Piper's Boasting Only in the Cross sermon before sleeping. I love that sermon. And it didn't even hit me till today during church. Oh my crazy pride.
I AM ashamed of the gospel. So many times, especially when I'm eating with a lot of nonchristian friends, or my co-workers, I pray really subtle prayers. Not that this is bad, but the fact that I try to hide my prayers. How foolish of me. And yet, with Christian friends I'm the one gladly saying, 'I'll gladly pray!' I am ashamed, but oh how I love the gospel. I need to not be ashamed. I love it so dearly.
You all need to settle on a good church where you can grow and serve! This conviction is for y'all readers if you don't have a church. After 2 years at a church ... I was so happy to be free and away and not committed to being a member of the church that I went on a church hopping spree for 3 months. I knew the first church I checked out, CCAC, was awesome, but my free spirited will wanted to explore all the churches and be free! But, thanks to awesome spiritual brothers and sisters in Christ, I settled at CCAC. Now I couldn't be more happier and more blessed. Even people in the community church that I don't even know are encouraging me through little subtle actions that they don't even know are encouraging. Find a church - stop church hopping - and get plugged in! Serve =]
God bless y'all.