...tick... tock... tick... tock...
The familiar noise of the clock vibrates through my ears and catches my attention. Awake earlier than usual after a time of prayer - finally - prayer - I look up and gaze upon the shiny clock my family has in the living room next to the TV. I watch as the second-hand ticks away, second by second, tick by tock. Then comes a sudden realization that this sight is horrid to my eyes. Every second, every tick, every tock - it will never be redeemed again.
I have no resolution for 2009. No - instead - I have this prayer and this meditation.
So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12.
I think that upon this verse and this meditation rests everything I would put as a resolution. I have to redeem the time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16). Yes, it is true that every tick and every tock brings us closer to eternity with God in heaven (praise God), but for now we live in a world where time is limited - we are bounded by time. God alone knows the days of our lives.
Thus sayeth the Psalmist after being surrounded by his enemies
I shall not die, but live,
And declare the works of the LORD.
The LORD has chastened me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.
Psalm 118:17-18
I am alive today, in this new year, because God wills it. I have been chastened (disciplined) severely in 2008 - with extreme chickenpox on my 20th birthday, with the quarantine from school, hardcore flu, return of asthma, stolen credit card, and much more, but God has not given me over to death - not yet. Like the Psalmist who went through harsher things, I will live and declare the works of the LORD. Time is short yes, it is like a vapor in the wind - like a ticktock of a clock - so teach me to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
All Christians Struggle
I went from being in one of my highest state of spiritual faith and growth to a time of hardcore struggle in a very sudden and short time. It is a very humbling experience. It is also a great reminder that all Christians struggle.
Too many times in my pride have I said I am so strong in faith that I will never struggle badly! Too many times have I looked down on Christians who struggled with reading the word, with spending time in prayer. But here I am in the same boat as everyone I judged, and the boat has capsized. I am holding onto the overturned boat for dear life. My hands slip - they are wet - and the boat is slippery - but I struggle to stay afloat.
Yes, all Christians struggle. Even the best of the best - thus we are all humans who desperately need Jesus. But, the one comforting thing I know through God's promises in His word is that He will never let me go. He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).
I think the best part of struggles and tribulations is that you learn endurance. And that means you always come out with more character. And character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint. =] (Romans 5).
Too many times in my pride have I said I am so strong in faith that I will never struggle badly! Too many times have I looked down on Christians who struggled with reading the word, with spending time in prayer. But here I am in the same boat as everyone I judged, and the boat has capsized. I am holding onto the overturned boat for dear life. My hands slip - they are wet - and the boat is slippery - but I struggle to stay afloat.
Yes, all Christians struggle. Even the best of the best - thus we are all humans who desperately need Jesus. But, the one comforting thing I know through God's promises in His word is that He will never let me go. He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).
I think the best part of struggles and tribulations is that you learn endurance. And that means you always come out with more character. And character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint. =] (Romans 5).
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Grades and Character
Spring quarter 2008, my second year at UCLA, I my first Von Blum class. I had an opportunity to write an essay of my choice on any visual poster that took a stance for a controversial issue and defend my stance on it. The class was an extremely liberal one, with extremely liberal classmates, professors, and TAs. My desire, my passion, my fervor was in writing an essay that was anti-abortion. I did hours upon hours of research, watching videos, learning more and more while being filled with anger at the injustice of abortion. I started my paper on this topic; however, hours later, my mind wandered and remembered that my TA was a very liberal female who was very reputable in giving bad grades, especially if the stances were against the majority belief of the class. In fear, in cowardness, I scrapped the whole paper on abortion that I had already started and wrote a new whole paper on the need to preserve our environment. It was the most shameful "A" I have ever gotten in college.
Fall quarter 2008, my third Von Blum class (I had taken another one over the summer), I have the opportunity to write a paper almost as open-ended as the time I gave up the abortion essay. The class, Professor Von Blum, and all the TAs are still as liberal as ever, but this time, I will not give up my passion and fervor on the topic of abortion. I will not fear a grade - a simple letter - that 'apparently' tells of how one excelled in school, in college. The grade does not make the person; it does not show people who you are. It does not necessarily mean you are smart; it does not mean you excel. There are many wonderous things about people behind just their grades. Its a sad thing that scholarships do not view it as so.
I love people with character. I love people who are a piece of rock - they are solid, and the choices they make reflect it. Talent is a gift my friends, but character is always a choice. This time, my God-driven passion and hatred for abortion - the murder of the unborn - is going to produce an essay that is true and not modified to please the hearts of men. Thank goodness I have an opportunity to do this again. What a joyous essay this is going to be to write. What a sigh of relief.
*If you want to know know all the reasons why I am anti-abortion, do not fear to ask. I will tell you, gladly, and I will not be nazi-like to you. I will just tell you the truth.
www.abort73.com
Fall quarter 2008, my third Von Blum class (I had taken another one over the summer), I have the opportunity to write a paper almost as open-ended as the time I gave up the abortion essay. The class, Professor Von Blum, and all the TAs are still as liberal as ever, but this time, I will not give up my passion and fervor on the topic of abortion. I will not fear a grade - a simple letter - that 'apparently' tells of how one excelled in school, in college. The grade does not make the person; it does not show people who you are. It does not necessarily mean you are smart; it does not mean you excel. There are many wonderous things about people behind just their grades. Its a sad thing that scholarships do not view it as so.
I love people with character. I love people who are a piece of rock - they are solid, and the choices they make reflect it. Talent is a gift my friends, but character is always a choice. This time, my God-driven passion and hatred for abortion - the murder of the unborn - is going to produce an essay that is true and not modified to please the hearts of men. Thank goodness I have an opportunity to do this again. What a joyous essay this is going to be to write. What a sigh of relief.
*If you want to know know all the reasons why I am anti-abortion, do not fear to ask. I will tell you, gladly, and I will not be nazi-like to you. I will just tell you the truth.
www.abort73.com
Monday, December 1, 2008
Man of God
Today's sermon on what it means to be a man of God was awesome.
Guns? My guns are from my Bible - the living word of God!
It should be up soon on
http://ccac.ws/tinc?key=6cMqkMzG
I'm still going to work out though.
Guns? My guns are from my Bible - the living word of God!
It should be up soon on
http://ccac.ws/tinc?key=6cMqkMzG
I'm still going to work out though.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Convictions from Church Today
So I didn't many notes at church for whatever reason, but I was convicted of a couple things today. So, to make sure I do not forget these convictions, and to make sure I apply these things, I write this entry.
#1
You spend time with what you love. I love my webcam. I love facebook. I wish I loved God more. Instead of coming back from class everyday and instantly checking facebook, or instantly going to videochatting with friends when I'm bored, why can't I just dive into the Bible?! That is my conviction. I love God. I cannot love that whom I do not know. I know God through the Bible. It is His words. Man, that conviction hit hard. I freaking love God's word, but by what I spend my time with, exceedingly I love facebook and my webcam more.
#2
I am super prideful. Everyone thinks I'm super humble, but honestly I am the least of the humble. I am not leaving any room to be gentle in this issue because this one has to hit me hard, and people need to know so they can pray for me and kill my pride. Why else do I constantly check facebook for updates, or constantly leave webcam messages? This pride issue was no part of the Bible study today, but as I was reflecting upon why I spent so much more time on myself and checking comments and what not, it hit me and reminded me that I find more satisfaction in myself than in God. Heck, last night I rewatched Piper's Boasting Only in the Cross sermon before sleeping. I love that sermon. And it didn't even hit me till today during church. Oh my crazy pride.
#3
I AM ashamed of the gospel. So many times, especially when I'm eating with a lot of nonchristian friends, or my co-workers, I pray really subtle prayers. Not that this is bad, but the fact that I try to hide my prayers. How foolish of me. And yet, with Christian friends I'm the one gladly saying, 'I'll gladly pray!' I am ashamed, but oh how I love the gospel. I need to not be ashamed. I love it so dearly.
#4
You all need to settle on a good church where you can grow and serve! This conviction is for y'all readers if you don't have a church. After 2 years at a church ... I was so happy to be free and away and not committed to being a member of the church that I went on a church hopping spree for 3 months. I knew the first church I checked out, CCAC, was awesome, but my free spirited will wanted to explore all the churches and be free! But, thanks to awesome spiritual brothers and sisters in Christ, I settled at CCAC. Now I couldn't be more happier and more blessed. Even people in the community church that I don't even know are encouraging me through little subtle actions that they don't even know are encouraging. Find a church - stop church hopping - and get plugged in! Serve =]
God bless y'all.
#1
You spend time with what you love. I love my webcam. I love facebook. I wish I loved God more. Instead of coming back from class everyday and instantly checking facebook, or instantly going to videochatting with friends when I'm bored, why can't I just dive into the Bible?! That is my conviction. I love God. I cannot love that whom I do not know. I know God through the Bible. It is His words. Man, that conviction hit hard. I freaking love God's word, but by what I spend my time with, exceedingly I love facebook and my webcam more.
#2
I am super prideful. Everyone thinks I'm super humble, but honestly I am the least of the humble. I am not leaving any room to be gentle in this issue because this one has to hit me hard, and people need to know so they can pray for me and kill my pride. Why else do I constantly check facebook for updates, or constantly leave webcam messages? This pride issue was no part of the Bible study today, but as I was reflecting upon why I spent so much more time on myself and checking comments and what not, it hit me and reminded me that I find more satisfaction in myself than in God. Heck, last night I rewatched Piper's Boasting Only in the Cross sermon before sleeping. I love that sermon. And it didn't even hit me till today during church. Oh my crazy pride.
#3
I AM ashamed of the gospel. So many times, especially when I'm eating with a lot of nonchristian friends, or my co-workers, I pray really subtle prayers. Not that this is bad, but the fact that I try to hide my prayers. How foolish of me. And yet, with Christian friends I'm the one gladly saying, 'I'll gladly pray!' I am ashamed, but oh how I love the gospel. I need to not be ashamed. I love it so dearly.
#4
You all need to settle on a good church where you can grow and serve! This conviction is for y'all readers if you don't have a church. After 2 years at a church ... I was so happy to be free and away and not committed to being a member of the church that I went on a church hopping spree for 3 months. I knew the first church I checked out, CCAC, was awesome, but my free spirited will wanted to explore all the churches and be free! But, thanks to awesome spiritual brothers and sisters in Christ, I settled at CCAC. Now I couldn't be more happier and more blessed. Even people in the community church that I don't even know are encouraging me through little subtle actions that they don't even know are encouraging. Find a church - stop church hopping - and get plugged in! Serve =]
God bless y'all.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Compromise
I am amazed and appalled at how much Christians compromise in the world today. I can't stand it and I don't understand it.
One thing that people seem to compromise is God's standards... in order to reach out to more people. Hmm, something there sounds funny. Giving up God's standards to bring people to God? Compromising God to bring people to God? When did salvation become of the preacher, of the evangelist, or the man? Salvation has been, is, and will always be "of the LORD." (Psalm 3:8 and countless other Bible verses). You don't compromise God for numbers. You don't say, "gay marriage and gay pastors" are okay so that you can have more "christians" among you to count in your numbers.
I got "rebuked" by a nonbeliever yesterday while evangelizing, saying that we should focus on the method of evangelism. That the success rate for us should be at least 50%, and if not, we are doing something wrong and need to change something. Other Christians and churches are receiving those numbers and those success rates. They are also the churches that say salvation is a short prayer, is attending church, is prosperity. They preach a reduced gospel that lacks truth. They deceive people; many in their congregation believe that they are saved, but are not! That drives me nuts. This is what compromise does. Man... since when was evangelism measured by success rates and numbers?! Since when has evangelism become methods methods methods - the smallest amount of truth to reach the biggest amount of people?
Boy, I sure am glad that Salvation is of the LORD! I am glad that evangelism is not about numbers, but about glorifying God! If it weren't, I would focus on numbers and success and I would end up compromising truth. There is nothing I can do to will someone into grace. I am only the messenger. And as the messenger, I will tell TRUTH. The BIGGEST amount of TRUTH to the BIGGEST amount of people.
I can't believe I'm seeing so much compromise in "christianity" today. Argh. Stop compromising. You changing God does not bring people to God. Only God brings people to God. He first Loves. He first draws. Thank goodness for the examples of the Apostales who never compromised and preached only truth. Don't compromise! Chop at everything. If you keep chopping away, the ONLY thing that will STAND is ABSOLUTE TRUTH!
One thing that people seem to compromise is God's standards... in order to reach out to more people. Hmm, something there sounds funny. Giving up God's standards to bring people to God? Compromising God to bring people to God? When did salvation become of the preacher, of the evangelist, or the man? Salvation has been, is, and will always be "of the LORD." (Psalm 3:8 and countless other Bible verses). You don't compromise God for numbers. You don't say, "gay marriage and gay pastors" are okay so that you can have more "christians" among you to count in your numbers.
I got "rebuked" by a nonbeliever yesterday while evangelizing, saying that we should focus on the method of evangelism. That the success rate for us should be at least 50%, and if not, we are doing something wrong and need to change something. Other Christians and churches are receiving those numbers and those success rates. They are also the churches that say salvation is a short prayer, is attending church, is prosperity. They preach a reduced gospel that lacks truth. They deceive people; many in their congregation believe that they are saved, but are not! That drives me nuts. This is what compromise does. Man... since when was evangelism measured by success rates and numbers?! Since when has evangelism become methods methods methods - the smallest amount of truth to reach the biggest amount of people?
Boy, I sure am glad that Salvation is of the LORD! I am glad that evangelism is not about numbers, but about glorifying God! If it weren't, I would focus on numbers and success and I would end up compromising truth. There is nothing I can do to will someone into grace. I am only the messenger. And as the messenger, I will tell TRUTH. The BIGGEST amount of TRUTH to the BIGGEST amount of people.
I can't believe I'm seeing so much compromise in "christianity" today. Argh. Stop compromising. You changing God does not bring people to God. Only God brings people to God. He first Loves. He first draws. Thank goodness for the examples of the Apostales who never compromised and preached only truth. Don't compromise! Chop at everything. If you keep chopping away, the ONLY thing that will STAND is ABSOLUTE TRUTH!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Thankful for an Awesome Church
There is one thing I've been really thankful for in the past few weeks, and that is a solid church. I settled at Community Christian Alliance Church (CCAC) about 4-5 weeks ago and it has been an amazing blessing to me. These are a few reasons (out of many) that I love this church.
1) Solid Biblical Preaching
-Dang! The sermons are so awesome because they are based on scripture - and the word of God does not fail to convict me. These sermons humble me in light of God's glory. And the expository style makes me want to read my Bible more and examine the scriptures.
2) They preach Doctrine
-Most churches don't and if they do, a lot of is doctrine taught out of pride. They say doctrine builds your heart in pride. It then hardens your heart. Goodness gracious. Doctrine should not build your pride nor should it harden your heart. The more you know doctrine, the more you know God, and it should humble you and soften your heart! Doctrine and humility go hand in hand because as you realize the greatness of God and the greatness of your sin, you realize you are nothing. I love how they stress this.
3) Praise
-I love the praise here. I don't know what it is about praise, but I love the song choices, and I love the environment of the fellow congregation praising together in this church. It just draws me to worship God with all my heart. Today we sang the hymn - How Deep the Father's Love - my new favorite hymn.
4) Welcoming and Sincere Congregation
-Out of all the churches I've ever visited in my entire life, this church has been the easiest to make friends, find accountability partners, and associate with. It took one thursday night college bible study (Sojourners) to get to know many of them. And they open up so easily to everyone who is new! I love my church members. I love the peers, the young ones, and the older ones. They are so encouraging - even in light of their sufferings.
5) Easy to serve
-It is easy to serve at this church. People are always needed to serve here in simple and harder things - from picking up trash, moving tables, to Fun Factory (Holy-ween type thing at Korean Churches for Halloween). Also, serving opportunities on the bulletins and announcements!
6) Multi-ethnic Congregation
-It started out as a English speaking Chinese Church, but is very multi-ethnic. We have a white pastor who can speak chinese! We have a multi-ethnic group of pastors and members that I love seeing. I love how easy it will be to bring friends or nonbelievers to church with me (unlike before where I went to a Korean church).
7) Amazing Spiritual Growth
-I am finally growing in church as much as I have been growing in KCM. Never have I grown in faith like I have in KCM - especially not in churches. But here, I finally am! When I graduate, KCM will no longer be in the picture, but church will.
8) God-focused, God-centered, God-everything
-It is focused on God and not us! God is the supreme, not us. It preaches no prosperity gospel, it preaches no reduced message. It preaches God. And it welcomes the nonbeliever, and it reaches out to the community (like through Fun Factory) and rejoices when someone comes to accept or even take a step closer towards being found in salvation. Oh how I love a God-centered church.
Just had to share that blessing. I feel rejuvenated after every week. Refreshed in having been able to relax and enjoy the presence of God together with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. If anyone is looking for a church - let me know. This is an awesome one. =]
1) Solid Biblical Preaching
-Dang! The sermons are so awesome because they are based on scripture - and the word of God does not fail to convict me. These sermons humble me in light of God's glory. And the expository style makes me want to read my Bible more and examine the scriptures.
2) They preach Doctrine
-Most churches don't and if they do, a lot of is doctrine taught out of pride. They say doctrine builds your heart in pride. It then hardens your heart. Goodness gracious. Doctrine should not build your pride nor should it harden your heart. The more you know doctrine, the more you know God, and it should humble you and soften your heart! Doctrine and humility go hand in hand because as you realize the greatness of God and the greatness of your sin, you realize you are nothing. I love how they stress this.
3) Praise
-I love the praise here. I don't know what it is about praise, but I love the song choices, and I love the environment of the fellow congregation praising together in this church. It just draws me to worship God with all my heart. Today we sang the hymn - How Deep the Father's Love - my new favorite hymn.
4) Welcoming and Sincere Congregation
-Out of all the churches I've ever visited in my entire life, this church has been the easiest to make friends, find accountability partners, and associate with. It took one thursday night college bible study (Sojourners) to get to know many of them. And they open up so easily to everyone who is new! I love my church members. I love the peers, the young ones, and the older ones. They are so encouraging - even in light of their sufferings.
5) Easy to serve
-It is easy to serve at this church. People are always needed to serve here in simple and harder things - from picking up trash, moving tables, to Fun Factory (Holy-ween type thing at Korean Churches for Halloween). Also, serving opportunities on the bulletins and announcements!
6) Multi-ethnic Congregation
-It started out as a English speaking Chinese Church, but is very multi-ethnic. We have a white pastor who can speak chinese! We have a multi-ethnic group of pastors and members that I love seeing. I love how easy it will be to bring friends or nonbelievers to church with me (unlike before where I went to a Korean church).
7) Amazing Spiritual Growth
-I am finally growing in church as much as I have been growing in KCM. Never have I grown in faith like I have in KCM - especially not in churches. But here, I finally am! When I graduate, KCM will no longer be in the picture, but church will.
8) God-focused, God-centered, God-everything
-It is focused on God and not us! God is the supreme, not us. It preaches no prosperity gospel, it preaches no reduced message. It preaches God. And it welcomes the nonbeliever, and it reaches out to the community (like through Fun Factory) and rejoices when someone comes to accept or even take a step closer towards being found in salvation. Oh how I love a God-centered church.
Just had to share that blessing. I feel rejuvenated after every week. Refreshed in having been able to relax and enjoy the presence of God together with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. If anyone is looking for a church - let me know. This is an awesome one. =]
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